https://www.flickr.com/photos/131662339@N07/24122522368/in/datetaken-public/

So, trying something new with adding images.  Not perfect but a compromise.  Pretty orchid, no?

After writing the “woe is me” post last week I figured it was time to save myself.  Sometimes the smallest changes make the biggest difference.  I started listening to relaxation / meditation music before falling asleep.  I took some time to sit outside and just chill out for a few minutes just about every day.  I played hooky from work Friday afternoon…which is where the orchid pic came from.

But two other things also helped.  I finally forced myself to do a “project” of sorts at work that had been festering for months.  It was there, no one else was going to do it, and I dreaded it.  I woke up Tuesday morning and decided that would be the day to get it done.

My manager and I had a conversation about the procrastination project and anxiety in general.  She has been seeing a counselor for her issues which, unsurprisingly, are similar to mine.  So she got it.  And that helps.

Which brings me to a point here.  We spend far too much time feeling anxious about getting “everything” done.  Whatever everything means to you.  There is this feeling like if we aren’t constantly busy doing SOMETHING then we are somehow failing.  Or we aren’t enough.

Well….after thinking about that, I decided to put a stop to the seemingly unending project list.  While the major stuff has been done to the house, there are still 3 or 4 things that need to be done before I can sell and move (yes, that is a serious – very serious – consideration).  Not until spring, though.  It’s time to relax a bit and catch up financially – I already feel less frantic.

I also realized that it makes a huge difference to do something because you WANT to – because it makes your heart happy – than because you feel obligated or required.  For the first time ever, I dropped out of the singing group after paying the fee.  My heart wasn’t in it for a lot of reasons….I didn’t care for the music or the director.  The thought of dragging myself there every Thursday night just made me tired.

And life goes on.  Sometimes “no” is the right answer.