Gosh, I have not written here since early October.  Where has the time gone?

To catch you up on things….I started the book and now need to do the hard part.  By the time I am done working for the day, my brain is too tired to do much besides take a nap.  But I’ll get back to it.

I went to Naples for a long weekend at the beach a couple of weeks ago.  The trip was paid for by an attorney I know…sort of long story.   It was the second Ritz Carlton I have stayed at and, yeah, it’s posh all right.  It took about a day to relax and realize no one would figure out I was really too poor to be there.  😀  I met my manager for the first time which was cool.  We kicked a bottle of champagne while sitting on the balcony of my room which had a view of the Gulf of Mexico…and then we went to the spa.  Totally decadent and I enjoyed every minute of it.

And then reality hit.  A bunch of work was transferred to me and I got slammed with some other stuff at work so it’s been busy.  I rejoined the singing group – women’s ensemble they call it now – and our concert was last Friday night.  Oh, and I decided to refinance the mortgage.  This four day holiday weekend is sorely needed.

So, back to the point of the post.  This is the time of year when everyone starts talking about how thankful they are for the usual stuff – family, friends, health, blah..blah…blah.  I always wonder how much of what is said is just said because it is expected.  Do people really believe it?

It has been just about exactly one year since the initial cancer diagnosis.  One year.  In a way, I feel pretty much exactly like I did last November, physically.  Mentally, not so much.  Financially, I am way further deeper in a hole which is why the mortgage is being refinanced.

Last night when I was trying to fall asleep, I was overcome by emotions related to gratitude. I am so far beyond grateful for so many things. How can I ever thank the people who were kind and compassionate over the past year?  I’m not really talking about those who sent gifts or my sister in law who came to stay with me.

I am talking about the people who work at the Publix where I shop every week who took the time to ask – seriously ask – how I was doing.  These are the same people who were thrilled with the CT scan results.

Or the people at the vet who were there with just a smile nearly every day.

Or the people in the singing group who were there with hugs and words of encouragement when I went to a concert sporting one of those stupid hats…people who don’t even know my name.

Or, and this is the one that made me cry, the man who continued to tell me I was sexy even when I was bald and felt completely broken inside.  How can I ever express my gratitude to him?  How can I ever thank someone for giving me a part of myself back again?

It is so very important to remember that even small things can mean the world to other people, even total strangers.  A smile.  A hello.  Holding the door open.  A hug.  Kind words.  Listening.  Being there.  I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am for all the people who did these things for me.

So really all I can do is pay it forward.  Pass on the kindness to someone else who needs it.