Funny story about this quote.  I had just finished a journal entry where I made comments about being on an emotional roller coaster but feeling determined to enjoy the ride.  Or something like that.

And it HAS been – still IS – an emotional roller coaster.  Some days I can go from happy to sad in a blink of an eye and for seemingly unknown reasons.  It can be very frustrating.

But…but…all in all it has been a pretty fantastic few weeks.  Some time last month, I figured out that April would be a sort of vacation from cancer.  I would recover from Chemo Round Three early in the month and then have a short break from other treatment.  Turns out it was sort of better than expected.

The weather in Florida is generally pretty awesome in April which is why it has turned into my favorite month since moving here.  This year was no exception.  There is just something about sunny, warm days that makes a person happy.  Unless you like snow, then not so much.  🙂

Added to that, so much was accomplished the week my sister in law was here that I finally feel like I am getting caught up on life.  The garden was planted, I hired a lawn guy to mow the lawn, and the appliances were repaired.  It doesn’t sound like much but when you feel totally overwhelmed by everything that has to be done while feeling unwell every little bit helps.

I think I wrote something about just wanting to feel normal again and that finally happened for the past few weeks.  Funny how we don’t appreciate going about our normal lives until it gets yanked away.  For two weeks, I felt completely normal – the old energy level was back, I didn’t feels sick, and I finally felt like doing things.  It was a total joy to bake cupcakes and go to the beach for a few hours…two things I took for granted before cancer.

Next week should be relatively good as well.  I see the oncologist tomorrow for a regular check up and then see the radiology oncologist on Tuesday to start the process for radiation.  And then Thursday evening I am taking myself out to a concert a friend of mine is singing in (the same group I used to sing with).

I figure I have one or two more good weeks before the fatigue and feeling crappy thing will start again.  And that’s ok, I know it’s coming so I plan to enjoy the heck out of the two or so good weeks that are left. And…I know that each day takes me closer to hopefully being through this mess.

The twisted down side to all this is I feel sorta guilty for, well, feeling good.  People expect me to be sick or depressed or, I dunno, something other than happy.  I am NOT happy to be dealing with this disease, but I AM happy to be feeling well and….NORMAL.    I already had to opt out of one online support group because it was just too depressing.  True story.

So there ya go.  The roller coaster car I am riding in is approaching the top of the hill.  Time to get ready to hang on for the ride down the other side.  🙂