This post has been festering in my head for a while – since early June, in fact.  It’s time to just write it out.

It’s interesting how differently people react to stress and adversity. Some get angry.  Others dissolve into tears.  Still others vow to take action.   I tend to get angry, stressed, and then anxious followed by a blur of activity to “take action”.  Or some similar combination.

Things started to get a bit stressful in my personal life in early June this year.  I was robbed – while I was in my house working! – and was scheduled to fly “home” for a bridal shower early the next morning.  This was followed by notice from my homeowners insurance that they intended to non renew my policy if I didn’t replace the roof.  Followed by assorted appliances and fixtures breaking around the house.  It was just about all I could take.

But to back up a bit to the robbery thing.  It made me angry, so very angry, that I could not sit in my house on a Friday morning without the threat of someone walking in and stealing something (my wallet, credit cards, car keys and house keys).  After the anger came the whirlwind activity of replacing as much as possible (in a few hours) so I could board a plane at 7 AM the next morning.  And no, I did not get any sleep.

While on the plane, I had a lovely chat with the lady in the neighboring seat.  We chatted about travel and about why we were flying to the same place (me for the shower, she for a wedding).  All the while I’m thinking that I should be bitching about the robbery but it was far more pleasant to chat about other things.

It reminded me of the time, 6 years ago, when I flew “home” after my mom passed away.  It was Easter Sunday morning and my mom passed away the night before.  I chatted for most of the two hour trip with the lady next to me about all sorts of things.  At the end of the flight she asked why I was making the trip so I told her.  She was surprised but understood why I hadn’t mentioned it before.

Anyway, I also started to wonder what makes people resilient to adversity.  I was pretty darn proud of the fact that I hadn’t broken down into a pile of stressed out tears the night before.  Life can be hard.

As luck would have it, I had a Brene Brown book with me to read – The Gifts of Imperfection (it’s a good read, but I liked Daring Greatly more).  What was the next chapter titled?  “Cultivating a Resilient Spirit”.  It was one of those kismet moments.

“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty.  All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful”.  ~ Terri St. Cloud

The book goes on to list the factors that make up resilient people – they are resourceful and have good problem solving skills; they are more likely to seek help; they hold on to the belief that they can do something that will help them cope; they have social support available; and they are connected with others.

But the foundation of what made people “bounce back” from adversity was spirituality.  Brene Brown defines spirituality as:

“…recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion.  Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives”. 

After reading that passage, I almost cried.  On the plane.  Just prior to all the chaos, I started to read more about karma and Buddhism and honestly, Brown’s definition really spoke to me.  Things sort of made sense in a way I cannot describe or articulate.  I realized I was far more resilient than I ever believed possible.

This is not a post about religion, something I avoid commenting on and discussing because our beliefs are a very private matter.  No, this is about believing in SOMETHING.  It’s a faith that things will work out eventually.  It may not be how you want or envisioned it, but there will eventually be a resolution.  Sometimes the way things work out is for the best and you don’t realize that until weeks, months or maybe years later.  It’s how charcoal is transformed into a diamond.

My new mantra goes something like this….

What is happening now is temporary.  Don’t worry about tomorrow, concentrate on today.  I have faith it will all work out eventually.