I haven’t been here for a while, things have been a bit crazy lately. Some good, some bad, mostly just life challenges. Some days have a great desire for boredom.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the alleged “American Dream” and what lengths we will go to in order to achieve what we believe – or what society believes – is the ultimate American Dream. Marriage, kids, home ownership, promotions at the usual white collar office job, and a new car in the driveway.
I bought into this dream over 20 years when I bought my first house. I really couldn’t afford it, though I thought I could, but it seemed the thing to do. No one mentioned the REAL cost of home ownership – maintenance, repairs, inability to easily move to a new place. But I ignored all that and told myself it was all good.
Then the opportunity came up to move to Florida which meant having to sell a house and, of course, buy a house. Renting wasn’t really an option because I had a “big” dog and needed a yard. I bought my first “big girl” house – a single family home with a pool in a decent neighborhood with a fenced in yard. So proud! Of course, that meant trying to work my way up the management chain for continued raises.
I didn’t expect to be laid of short of three years later. So there I was in this house, unable to sell it without losing money…no income…and having to buy a car since I lost a company car. Things have been rocky ever since that layoff.
Fast forward 10 or so years of rocky employment, sometimes unsteady income and I have come to accept that the house is a burden. I don’t enjoy maintaining it. The repairs are bleeding me dry and putting me further in debt.
I’m beginning to resent the whole American Dream thing.
I never got married, though deep down inside I am sure I always thought I would and that would resolve the dislike of home maintenance thing. My new partner/husband could do it! Never happened.
The current definition of American Dream really started in the 1950’s after World War II when the suburbs exploded along with the availability of credit.
So what if…just WHAT IF…my dream is something different. Or yours? What if the path to happiness was not in owning a home and working a traditional job? What if the dream would be to live in a small apartment (more on the minimalism thing later…good stuff!) and within your means? What if the dream is to be debt free?
I feel like I am running on a treadmill to keep up with what I have been told is the dream. I’m running, running, running and getting nowhere except tired.
It might soon be time to step off this treadmill.
Your post is timely for me. As of last week, for the first time in over 30 years, I no longer own real property. I even sold my furniture with the last home. I am completely debt free and I have some cash in the bank. Looking back I have lost money on every single home I have ever owned especially if you consider the interest I have paid over the years. Today, I will look at a home in consideration of purchase… old habits die hard. I have been thinking that maybe I need to just let things settle out. You give me even more reason to pause!
Good to hear from you, I was wondering how you were doing with your downsizing. Congrads on the latest house sale! I am beginning to think home ownership is not the great investment it has always been cracked up to be. When you factor in property taxes, repairs, maintenance and all of your time to do all the maintenance it just seems to cost more than renting. I pushed off a lot of repairs because I just didn’t have the money for a new roof or a new kitchen or a new screened porch and now everything is happening at once. Debt free sounds like bliss.
The American Dream is vastly over-rated! It is like jamming a square peg in a round hole for most people. But they keep trying over and over and over to make it work. I know because I tried it too… for many years… in several houses… with a woman I couldn’t stand anymore. I realized it one day sitting in a counseling session when the counselor asked me what I wanted. Wow! What a moment that was… when I thought about it and said I want a divorce! I wanted something else in life. I have not regretted that moment! I do share a house with my GF and there are maintenance issues but we are more within our means than I was ever before. I am still dealing with past bad decisions but I am getting closer to the surface!
So glad you made the decision when you did to make a change to find happiness! So many people just continue on the same path because they think it is what they are supposed to do.