I’m going to try to keep the rambling to a minimum, I apologize in advance if I go off on a tangent here or there.

So I’ve been in this funk for the past few weeks, well, a funk which has been peppered with anxiety attacks.  Not really a good combination but I’m working through it.   I’m trying very hard to have faith that everything will all work out – just as it usually does.

It’s amazing what the mind can do, isn’t it?  Entire scenarios are worked out and what seems to be so very real rarely ever happens.  Imagine if all that power of thought could be focused only on good and positive things.  Just imagine.

Yesterday I had myself convinced of an outcome which has not happened, nor is there really any concrete evidence that it WILL happen, but my head convinced my gut.  You see, I am one of those intuitive people who listens to her gut.  I seem to get these “feelings” that something will happen and then TA DA!  it does!  Sort of like a deja vu kind of thing.

But then I got to thinking – what if THIS time my brain took over my gut and forced a certain outcome?  I mean, there are certain things I could do to react to a situation that would influence the outcome.  In this case,  there is an issue going on in a relationship.  If I react in a certain way, my brain will end up being right because I reacted just that way.  If I ignore my brain – tell that stupid voice to just SHUT UP then perhaps the situation will turn out entirely different.

I was struggling yesterday to figure out if the brain or gut was in control.  I decided to ignore the brain for now because I do NOT want things to turn out like the brain says they will.  Not even a little.

And so a slightly off topic, but amusing thing happened today.  There are some people who believe in horoscopes and others who don’t.  I’m sort of in the middle.  I don’t necessarily live and die by my horoscope but it does tend to freak me out when it’s dead on.  I read mine (on a handy dandy iPhone app) a few times a week mostly for amusement.   Now I have to point out that I did not read any of these until this afternoon.

Cancer horoscope for Saturday March 22:

“It is easy to tell someone else to think positive. But when that someone is you, it isn’t always so easy to do so. Someone in your world may be telling you to lighten up and think positive. You are probably frustrated that anyone would try to simplify something so complicated. But maybe it isn’t really all that complicated after all. Maybe it really is a matter of looking on the bright side and walking on the sunny side of the street. Maybe it’s as simple as counting your blessings and recognizing how good you have it. The more positive energy you stir up, Moonchild, the more you’ll attract.”

Cancer horoscope for Sunday March 23

“Imagine for a moment that someone was following you around all day (unbeknownst to you, of course) and recording everything you did and said. During the day you encounter at least a few difficult situations and more than a few difficult people. How do you handle yourself? Will you have anything to regret? Once you see a video of your travels, Moonchild, you could assess how you managed your emotions. If that were really to happen, how do you think you would do? You are less than proud of some of your behavior recently. You will face a few upcoming challenges. Be your best self, and you will have nothing at all to regret.”

Cancer horoscope for Monday March 24

“A sense of warmth, well-being, and security may come from out of the blue. Someone may say something or do something that shows you how well-cared-for you are, and that you have nothing at all to worry about. This is a sign that you have been craving for a very long time, Moonchild, and it is a powerful omen of good things to come. Whatever you do don’t dismiss it or start coming up with cynical reasons why it isn’t for real. It is for real, as you shall see in the days and the weeks ahead!”

Yesterday I was thinking how stupid I was being.  I’d be horrified to know someone filmed yesterday’s mood swings. Seriously.  And then today things seemed to get back on track.  When I came home from work there was a post card in the mailbox from my nephew in Texas thanking me for a Christmas gift (a travel book) he and his girlfriend used the other week.  Totally out of the blue and totally made my day.

Huh.  Kinda makes ya think, doesn’t it?  Now if I could only invent a mute button for that voice in my head.