A few weeks ago, I found this book titled “The Art of Non-Conformity” and borrowed it from the local library. I liked it so much, I bought it. Turns out I should have read the ENTIRE book before buying, not that it was awful, it just turned into something not all that earth shattering.
I grew up in a small town with very conservative values. My parents almost never “colored outside the lines” so I grew up with this fear that something horrible would happen if I didn’t follow the rules. Of course, the rules were set by unknown other people or “society”. Rules make for a boring life.
So I tried to live within the rules which I found to be stifling. I think it led to a lot of anxiety that I was falling behind by not being chosen by a man for marriage by the time I was in my mid twenties. And then I dabbled with living a little different from I was “supposed to”. Want to know what happened? I started to taste freedom and happiness.
As I read through the book, I realized three things. The first was that my life on the surface is very conformist and conventional. I have a 9-5 kind of job requiring a certain level of professionalism, I went to college and grad school, I have a house, and I have a dog.
The second was that I am drawn to people who live and think in unconventional ways. Maybe I’m hoping their free spirit will rub off. It made me realize that terrible things do not happen to those who live life on their own terms – quite the opposite is true. The non conformist, unconventional people I know are probably the happiest.
The third was that there is a certain part of my life that actually did turn out to be non conformist – my personal life. I never did get married and now I am happy about that. I have had what some would consider “odd” relationships over the years. The heartaches I did experience arose out of the failed conformist relationships. The “odd” ones always seem to work best for me and I’ve given up trying to explain or otherwise justify why I do and with whom I do it. Once I accepted and embraced the fact that my personal life would be “different” I felt very much at peace.
So don’t listen to what everyone else says you should do just so you can be like everyone else. Do what works for you. Do what makes you happy. Your future self will thank you.
Wish that we were built with those last phrases burned on our brain from birth. Would make life a whole lot easier 🙂
Truer words have rarely been spoken. 😀
I have always been drawn to the non-conformists in life… they are the most fun. My trouble has been hanging on to them… they always seemed to fade in and out of my life. I’m sure it’s a personality thing (their’s and/or mine) that I am acquainted with many people but few really know me and that includes my family! I have become more secure in myself as I have grown older. I often wonder how I would get along with people from my younger days if I were to meet them now.
Ah, yes, the boomerang people. I have learned that they come and go. It’s hard to keep hold of those with a free spirit. Most of the people I grew up with had the same small town mentality – most could not fathom leaving the area where they grew up. It’s one of the reasons I fled as soon as I could.
To discover ones authentic self is such a wonderful gift. It is at that point in our journey that we truly can begin writing those unique and rewarding chapters in our Book of Life. Many there are who never venture outside their comfort zone. Yes, they enjoy wonderful lives. But to understand, comprehend, and then grab life by the horns and run with reckless abandon is so very awesome indeed.
Pam, continue to color outside the lines. I’m enjoying reading little snipits of your Book of Life. Thank you for sharing 🙂
I realize now why I was no unhappy for so long – I was always trying to “fit in” instead of just being myself. I really noticed it this past Christmas, just hard to explain. I have been incredibly lucky to meet and get to know people who color outside the lines. It is soooo much more fun! So happy to have to join me in my little world here.