So I’m reading this book, Introvert Power, right now and I have to say I am loving it.  It is rare when a book makes me want to do fist pumps.  If you – or someone you love – have introvert tendencies, I highly recommend it.

The premise of the book is that about half the US population has introvert tendencies (admitted or not) though we are still labeled as being “odd”.  Our society is a “joiner” society where belonging to some sort of group is the accepted norm.  Those who don’t want to join or be part of a group are considered “loners”.

I started the introvert research when someone “elsewhere” said I was a “loner” and it quite frankly pissed me off.   I think of myself as more of a choosy person.  I’d rather spend quality time with a few people than noisy time with a group.  It’s just the way I am wired.

While I have never been one much for group activities, I was in the band throughout high school and college and I have been known to enjoy a party or two.  As I get older, though, I find myself enjoying the quiet so much more.

A few years ago, I joined a singing group as a hobby.  The first group (there have been three) was of moderate size and was tolerable.  The second group was smaller but an odd mix of people.  The third group has grown quite large.  Concert week is like a hell week for me.  When you enjoy peace and quiet, spending every single night for one week straight with 300 people is completely exhausting.

In order to balance out the group thing, I only sign up to do two concerts a year and then skip a “season”.  It’s what works for me but you’d think it was a horrible thing.  Last year, I was hounded about why I didn’t want to do the Christmas concert and no answer (excuse) was good enough.  This year was more of the same with little judgmental snide comments.  I just don’t understand why it matters to anyone else if I choose to not do an activity.

Anyway, back to the point (yes, there will be one shortly!).  The author of the introvert book talked about going on a “retreat” to regroup and re-energize your soul.  This could be going to a favorite spot for a few hours or going somewhere for a long weekend.  The author quoted someone who said that his family didn’t understand why he wanted to go somewhere alone until he read the introvert book about going on a retreat.  He more or less gave himself permission to go.

And that’s when it clicked.  We don’t give ourselves permission enough to be, well, ourselves.  We spend our lives trying to fit in to some ideal.  We try to do what we are “supposed” to do or what “they” think we should do.   We don’t, as my dear friend Jen says, color outside of the lines.

So since we are looking for permission I have decided to give myself – and YOU – a permission slip.  You can use it how you see fit (within reason).

I give you permission:

• to do what makes YOU happy, not someone else;
• to remove people from your life who drag you down emotionally;
• to get married, or shack up, or remain single;
• to eat a cookie (or cupcake!) if you want to eat a cookie;
• to not do anything for 10 minutes, an hour, or an entire day if you need some down time, the chores will wait;
• to follow your passion;
• to NOT color inside the lines and break from the norm;
• to be happy, really happy and not feel guilty about it;
• to love yourself , right now as you are, without question;
• to feed your soul.

This has become a new internal mantra.   I might even print out a paper version of a permission slip to make it real.  That way, if anyone questions me I can tell them I have a permission slip.  😉