I sort of didn’t know what title I wanted to use, mainly because I don’t know where this post will go.

It has been a somewhat long week for a variety of reasons.  One of those soul searching kind of weeks which I am partially attributing to a mid life crisis of sorts.

I have had the same “career” for going on 26 years.  There have been ups and downs along the way.  Almost ten years ago, I the company that moved me to Florida laid me off.  No notice, just POOF!  As devastating as it was personally and professionally, it was also one of those fork in the road moments.  That was when I decided to make a break for it and do something else career wise.

So I tried to be an insurance agent thinking that would be “something different” yet somewhat related to what I do (claims) so the transition wouldn’t be that difficult.  Thus started the rocky years of job hopping and erratic income.  And guess what.  I landed right back in claims, doing what knew and what “fit” my personality.  Or at least what I know and do well. Perhaps it is kismet of a sorts?

The downside is this job just sucks the life out of your soul.  I’ve known that for years and it goes in cycles – sometimes it doesn’t bother me but sometimes, like this week, it does.  Terribly so.

Last weekend, I was deleting old blog posts from over the past three years on a different website.  The thing that struck me was how exhausted I have been for those years.  I never realized how much it affected me until I read those old posts.  It’s just sad to go through life feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted week in and week out.  I haven’t been feeding my soul very much.

If you know me at all, you know that one of my beliefs is to CHANGE things you can change or shut up about it.  I suppose I am struggling with whether or not this is something I can change (without going bankrupt) or if this is something I just need to accept and shut up about.  For the record, it’s not really the company I currently work for…it is the actual career.

ANYWAY, to end this on a lighter note, my freebie subscription to Sirius radio ran out so I had to subscribe for real which meant they had to send a new signal to the radio.  This is generally a giant pain in the you know what.  The next signal was to be sent at 7 PM so I had to be in the car, outside, with the radio tuned to a certain channel…blah, blah, blah.

Of course, it doesn’t work which led to a call to customer service.  They tried to resend the signal but I had to “reset” the radio….turn off the radio, turn off the car, take out the key, and open the car door.  I asked the guy if I had to get out and turn around three times, too.  He wasn’t quite sure if I was being a smarty pants or not.

None of that worked, so I was transferred to a Level Two Technician.  This guy, Lenny, was a “breather” so every breath he took was magnified by his headset microphone.  I was borderline giggling – in the car, in the driveway at 7:30 PM.  At one point he said I could “keep driving”.  Driving?  I told him I wasn’t driving.  Oh, he says, is your husband driving?  Oh Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.  I don’t have me one of those.

I said ” No Lenny, I am in my pajamas in the driveway, the only place I’m driving is back into the garage”.   If nothing else, I made Lenny’s night.  🙂